The Morning

If you saw me on the street you would think: successful, disciplined, well-maintained. You would not be wrong. You would also have no idea what it takes.

The alarm does not wake me. I wake before it and lie there for exactly ninety seconds deciding whether today is a day worth this much effort. It always is. This is the first ritual — the decision, before anything else, that the rest is worth doing correctly.

In the shower I use LACTEA, the oil-to-milk cleanser, because sensitive skin does not mean weak skin, it means skin that has to be told the truth gently. I do not scrub. Scrubbing is what people do when they are angry at their own face. I am not angry at my face. My face and I have an understanding.

Out of the shower, towel at the waist, I begin the part almost no one sees and it is the only part that matters.

First, HELIOS — the anti-age day cream — worked upward, never downward, because gravity is already doing enough work against you without your help. Then ELIXIR, the all-in-one facial oil, two drops, warmed between the palms first because cold product on warm skin is a small violence I refuse to commit against myself. The oil goes on last before I even think about a shirt. This is not vanity. Vanity would be doing this for someone else to see. No one sees this. That is the point.

If it is a night that matters — and I decide by 7 a.m. whether it is — I reach for SOMNUS instead, later, but that comes at the other end of the day and I am getting ahead of myself.

For the body, SADDLE, the silk skin serum from the HIDE line — woody amber, leather, worked into the forearms and the chest and nowhere else, because a body that smells like effort everywhere is a body that has confused ritual with marketing. Two areas. That is all anyone actually touches first.

Hair: RAWHIDE, the two-in-one, because I have never understood men who use four products where one, used correctly, will do.

Then the mirror, properly, for the first time. Not to check. To confirm.

Now, dressing, and this is where people think it becomes about the clothes, and they are wrong, it was never about the clothes, the clothes are just what happens after the ritual is already finished.

Black. Always starts black. A Daddy Issues short-sleeve hooded sweatshirt, the laser-cut one, cut-through detail across the chest that most people clock a full three seconds too late — matte black on matte black, no distressing, because distressing is a costume and I am not wearing a costume, I am wearing a decision. Founders Grotesk energy even in the stitching, even if no one but me and the pattern-maker will ever know that's the reference. Chrome hardware, never gold. Gold is for people still deciding who they are. I already decided.

Boots on last, always last, because boots are the punctuation and you don't punctuate a sentence you haven't finished writing.

And then — only then — Sigma. One spray, wrist to neck, never more, because Sigma is Tuscan leather and tobacco and birch tar and something underneath that reads like a wound dripping with opulence, and a wound like that does not need reapplying, it needs to be trusted to do its work. Everyone in the room will be wearing Creed Aventus. Correct. Expensive. Forgettable. I am not trying to win that argument. I am not in that argument.

I check the mirror one final time. Not for flaws. Flaws were handled forty minutes ago, in private, by me, for me.

Then I leave the house, and none of what just happened is visible, and that's exactly correct, because the whole point of a ritual is that the effort disappears into the result. Routine wants credit. Ritual doesn't need it.

Who's your Daddy?

Daddy Jo.